


Toddy Boy In Stormcloak Land

by meloncreamsoda



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Fallout 76, Skyrim, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-10-17 14:35:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20622635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meloncreamsoda/pseuds/meloncreamsoda
Summary: Todd Is having a bad day at work, can his favorite game perk him up?





	1. It Just Works

Todd began to grow very tired of sitting in the Bethesda chair meeting. An intern who’s name he had forgotten brought him a stack near the size of a Starbucks venti cup, of papers to read over, and he was having none of it. There were no pictures or even a graphic or two, just angry feedback from beta testers of his masterpiece Fallout 76. It was too much to stomach, how could they have hated his creation so much? All Todd’s works were magic.

As he spaced out, listening to his train of thought and trying to tune out the annoying voice of the graphics developer leading the presentation, he realized his tummy was growing, this idiot had blabbered on through lunch.

Todd excused himself, and as any high powered executive producer does, headed to the office break room to steal lunch from some poorer person. As Todd entered the break room he noticed something, a Samsung smart refrigerator. He chuckled to himself, and after opening it and taking out a bottle of Pepsi and a tuna sandwich, he booted up his favorite creation of his, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. The game looked beautiful on the smart fridge display.

Todd smiled to himself as he cracked open the Pepsi washing it down with a heaping bite of tuna fish on Trader Joe’s brand whole wheat. Unfortunately for Todd he took too big a bite, and he began choking as he tried to swallow it all down. Expertly he took another swig of delicious Pepsi Cola and managed to save himself from choking. 

Sighing to himself after nearly avoiding death, he rested his hands on his strong hips, not realizing that the open can of Pepsi was now pouring out onto the floor, the Pepsi pooled under the fridge and ran into an exposed wire, bringing a strong electric shock through the soda and on to Todd’s spiffy leather shoes made in China. The shock sent him down and as he fell he thought he heard something, maybe a song. Before he could place what it was he hit his head on a table and slumped over, presumably dead.

Todd found himself falling through the darkness, falling and falling, it felt like it was at least a minute before he realized something was odd. “Normally people don’t fall this long.” He said . “So whatever is happening to me must not be normal.” This man was a genius.

Suddenly Todd felt something wooden and splintered beneath his butt, and as he opened his eyes to look around (they had been closed before) he noticed he was on a cart with his hands tied. “Is it Tuesday already?” He said, with a puzzled expression.   
Looking in front of him he noticed a handsome yet smelly man, with beautiful blonde hair, and shining blue eyes. Turning his head Todd saw the mountains around him, he saw the sky shine above him, he smelled the rich scent of pine and dirt brought in by the cool breeze. 

“This is it! It’s finally happening!” He thought, he’d always wanted to live in his games and now through some miracle, or maybe some bad tuna, he finally could. As he looked up at the blonde man he waited with anticipation to hear those words he knew so well. 

“Can’t believe a milk drinker like you passed out. Serves you right for walking into the ambush, you damn imperials are so entitled. Guess this is what you get for being a traitor.” The man spit at Todd, the stench of mead and gingivitis now mixing with his beautiful blue eyes and dripping down into his open mouth. Todd cringed at the taste, this definitely wasn’t how he wrote it. Not at all. Before he could say anything the Stormcloak laughed. “Best be glad you’re in this wagon and not the on back there, that one has Ulfric Stormcloak in it, he’d probably kill you with one look.” 

As Todd turned his neck to look at the cart behind him, he heard something, another beautiful Nord man was talking, but this time it was to a female Khajiit with unreasonably anime cat girl like features and extremely large breasts. “Hey you, you’re finally awake.” Todd’s heart dropped as he heard those words spoken, and this time he said to himself audibly. “Fuck me” the Nord man spit at him again as the cart rolled away, inching closer and closer to Helgen. This definitely did not work.


	2. Lions And Tigers And Dragons Oh Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Todd reaches Helgen and braces for battle

Todd braced himself, he knew what was coming next, he designed the damn game for Akatosh’s sake. He knew there was no way to fight the dragons, especially not now since some big tiddy cat girl was the Dragonborn instead of him, leaving him with about as much power as a white cap, which incidentally was the nickname of his penis. Todd had to think, and quick, a task that was undoubtedly hard for a man like him. Sadly before he could come up with a plan the carts stopped in Helgen.

Todd turned to get up and as he stood the Nord tripped him and left Todd laying facedown in the cart as everyone climbed off. His hands were tied so he couldn’t move, a feeling he knew well, albeit in different circumstances. As Todd listened to the tutorial he knew so well (it was the best part of the game, that’s why he made it unskipable) he shed a single tear as he heard the guard call out “Dragon!!”

Preparing for his death for a second time that day Todd closed his eyes hoping to die quickly. To his surprise the dragon never came, instead the wagon started to fall through the floor and then land soundly outside of Windhelm. “Huh” said Todd. “I guess the wagon must have respawned here.” 

“I don’t care if you have kids or not but you best pay me for the trip or I’ll call the guards on ya!” Said a random carriage driver who’s name Todd was too important to pay attention to. “Fuck, I really should have added console commands to the smart fridge edition. This is worse than the Switch.” “I really don’t get what your bedroom preferences have to do with it but if you have no money then I have no choice. GUARDS!!”

Todd’s stomach dropped, he was a good boy, sure he made Fallout 76 but other than that he never sinned in his life, and now he was going to jail. The guards ran to grab him and then an idea hit him, he might not be the Dragonborn but his hands were magically untied and he could swim decently and that’s all he needed for this kind of a fight. As the guards reached out their hands Todd punches one in the penis and makes his run for it, jumping into the freezing water below him, not before getting hit with 4 arrows on the way down. 

The iced water combined with the metal piercing his flesh made Todd scream. This is was painful and cold, almost as painful as the comments from reviewers after they tried Fallout 76. Gathering all his strength Todd Yelled “Todd! Out!” And he swam with the speed and grace of a 3 year old limbless Argonian on skooma learning to swim, to the nearest cottage. Because like all refined men Todd knows what will heal his wounds. Cheese from a cottage. Cottage cheese.

Todd made it to the shore and broke in to the cottage. There was an elderly couple sleeping in a bed, Todd knew what would happen if they woke up and he knew he couldn’t take them in battle, not like this. So he did what he had to do. He killed them. 

There are many ways to kill someone, Todd knew that from experience, but he was tired and hungry so he did something almost too horrible to say. He changed out of his blood stained clothes and sang to the best of his ability “Country roads, take me home” both elderlies died immediately from a heart attack, it was too scary to handle. 

Tods helped himself to a cheese wheel expecting immediate relief. He ate one and then another and another but nothing happened, he still looked like shit and felt even worse than before, so he ate everything he could find in the house. Apples and bowls of salt and flour, Todd’s tummy couldn’t take it anymore as he burped and rubbed his bloated belly. That’s when he remembered. Only the Dragonborn can heal by binge eating. With that thought Todd puked all over the floor and slumped over. Suddenly he found a health potion under the bed, he picked it up and chugged it. “Mmm, tastes like Pepsi Cola” said Todd happily as his wounds began to heal. 

As he looked up at the dead bodies on the bed he smiled. Skyrim was a harsh cold land and it wouldn’t be easy, not like making Fallout 76, but it was doable.  
He knew he could make it, and with that he was reborn. No longer as the dreamy man candy Todd Howard, he was a new man. From this day forward and forever he would be known

AS TODD SKYRIM.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwu thank you for reading I wuv you


	3. Todd Skyrim Joins The Companions?!!?? Hot Werewolf Action?!?!!?!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To get fit Todd tries to find a gym, sadly they don’t have them in Skyrim, but guess what they do have. Werewolves.

Despite Todd’s excellent defeat of the elderly couple, Todd knew he was not strong enough to defeat the neko girl Dragonborn and claim his rightful place as the main character. He had to get strong. He has to get swole. As swollen as his face got the last time he tried the lobster roll at Arby’s.   
  


There was only one place Todd could go, one place worthy of him, one place sonce he can’t join the mages college that is. He knew he would trip on those robes. But he biffed shit up and forgot to add plot to the bards college, so he went for the next best place. The Companions.

Now Todd wasn’t a furry, publicly, but based on all the art he’d seen on e621, he knew werewolves were big strong men that occasionally topped dragons, and that was enough for him. 

Todd set out to Whiterun but since he couldn't fast travel and his legs were still too noodly to walk after drinking all that alcohol, he had but one choice. Todd must steal a horse.   
  


Thankfully there was a horse outside the cabin in a small stable area. The horse appearing to have no lasting emotional trauma after seeing his family killed, seemed happy to, or well maybe void and emotionless, let Todd climb up upon his back.   
  


Todd got on his new pet horsie. He had played his rival game yehaw Skyrim before so he knew how to ride them. To save time Todd decided to go over the mountains since he made them climbable. As he reached the top he saw a snow troll. Having no weapons and no skills he decided to make a run for it, sadly for Todd like most things things proved to be fatal. For his horse.   
  


Todd climbed too far to the edge in his attempt to go back down the mountain and he fell. Tumbling over in a dramatic fashion the horse launched him into the sky and he glitched all the way to Whiterun. The horse died in the fall. “Damn, I really should have made those things more sturdy.” Said Todd with a sudden craving for horse meat.   
  


As Todd walked past Belathor’s General Goods, a man stopped him. “Jacob? Or Edward?” Said a smelly yet attractive Nord. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Todd said confused.   
“I said, are you Team Jacob or Team Edward?” The Nord repeated, sounding gruff and also annoying. 

“Team Jacob?” Todd said deciding to go with the first option.   
  


“Good you’ll fit right in, you know I have some gently used Tiger Beats it you’re willing to pay. Just don’t mind the sticky pages.”   
  


“Uhh I’ll pass this time” said Todd walking away. Not totally turned off by the offer. As he walked past a guard he heard them mention something about an old lady dying in the orphanage. He couldn’t believe it, that damn cat girl Dragonborn joined the dark brotherhood first thing in the game. What kind of a sick bastard would- 

Speaking of sick bastards, upon hearing Nazeem say his all too familiar phrase to some wood elf behind him, Todd decided it was time to hide. He ran into the nearest building and tripped on the doorframe. Landing face first into a pair of bronzed rippling pectorals, Todd looked up and met his eyes with the most beautiful man. His heart was beating a mile a minute and it definitely wasn’t because he installed the heart attack mod. Todd was in love at first sight with this man. The man helped Todd to his feet and smiled.   


“You’re blue eyes look beautiful in the ~Twilight~ Nice to meet you my name is Jacob.” And with that, Todd knew exactly what team he was on. Team Jacob. He’s still hetero 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story uwu please be kind and tell me what you think


End file.
